Mat-with-one-t

I don’t suppose anyone’s got a Groovemaster 2 sitting about in a box? I want to use one as a template of inspiration, along with perhaps a Thomas Schick.....

Need some sort of open headphones where the drivers are inserted in reverse, thus more sound goes out than in. This way, you can crank them and walk around playing Rod Stewart and Neil Diamond non stop (make sure you sing along). That’ll get them out.

Noise cancelling I trust?

Until that goddam Maria Carey song cranks up.....

Interesting, as mine seem to PRODUCE negativity non-stop.

Better get onto that one. Can do sound modelling for different fur types?

Just the three. But it maybe possible to substitute our 2 equally lazy dogs into calculations.

Fantastic idea, however may fall short due to some real-world shortcomings and challenges: a) down jackets will be difficult, as due to their superlative inaction of late, their metabolism has slowed to that of a mid-winter Grizzly. As a result, they turn the heating up to 39deg constantly, despite my protestations. Having said that, the down jackets may save a fortune in gas.... b) “move around the room” in real time. Firstly, they don’t move (ergo the original idea). Secondly, Playstationland does not operate in “real time”. For example, “Yes! I’ll be off in a minute”..... if if I could just somehow synchronise your idea to Fortnite and fool them into thinking they have to shoot something.....

Just working on some modelling so no wall attachments required at all....

Problem is, when they DO actually move at the moment, they go straight to the pantry, eat ALL our food, then go back to where they were. The result is that, combined with their complete lack of current exercise, I’m not sure if those strips will hold them up....

Squeal traps would be very useful. Perhaps if they can start each PlayStation argument out-of-phase with each other, we could nullify nodal points?

Helpful data Snoop. Appreciated. Currently calculating their total surface area. The missus is handy on a sewing machine so next will look at diffractor onesies......

True, but I don’t want the glue residue on the wall if I have to move the Velcro. Nail holes easier to repair.....

No that’s the point. I’d be more than happy for them to wander off, but they won’t bloody move.